"Notes and Quotes"

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

Thursday, April 9, 2009

THE 2009 STORY OF THE MAN WHO SOLD HOT DOGS

04/09/09
by Chuck Hakes
A Modern Day Parable

Many a truth is said in jest.

This is the old and familiar story of the man who sold hot dogs from a roadside stand, was successful made money, and sent his son to college. The son returned, told his father that he should cut back on his expenses because the economy was bad. So the father cut back, therefore business got bad, and he concluded that his educated son knew what he was talking about.


What follows is my 2009 version of that story.


THE 2009 STORY OF THE MAN WHO SOLD HOT DOGS


Sam sold hot dogs at a stand alongside a busy road.

He rented a space on a building behind him for a sign that said: Sam’s Deluxe Hot Dogs. High Quality. Tasty. Try one.

People stopped and tried his hot dogs and found them to be high quality and tasty. They came back and bought more. They told their friends who came and bought.

Soon Sam had a good business selling hot dogs.

Sam soon found that some days he sold many more hot dogs than other days, and that if he bought enough hot dogs at one time he would get a nice big quantity discount from the hot dog wholesaler.

To help him buy enough hot dogs at one time at the lowest price Sam got a small business line of credit from the First Ebenezer Bank.

But clouds were gathering. Unnoticed by many was that First Ebenezer was one of many banks purchased by the giant Screwge Financial Services, which was in the process of building a huge banking monopoly by buying many more banks than they could afford.

Things were happily humming along for Sam. Soon he was selling so many hot dogs that he couldn’t serve them fast enough. So, he hired a helper, and then a second helper, and was on his way to being a hot dog mogul.

Then the economy started to tank. Sam’s business dropped off because some of his customers lost their jobs and didn’t drive by anymore.

This made things a little difficult for Sam but he didn’t lay off his helpers because he knew they needed the work and would suffer greatly without the pay. So Sam got along OK, making ends meet and keeping his employees.

Then Sam received a notice from the bank, which was now named First Ebenezer Screwge Financial Services. It said in part:

“We value the way you have always paid your account on time and in full. However because you operate a small business, and times are tough for small businesses, we must make some modifications in your credit line, interest rate and terms to protect our interests.

Your business line of credit has been reduced. The interest you will pay has been increased. Penalties for late payment have been increased. Your payment must be received and posted within 25 days of the invoice date instead of 30 days as formerly.

It has always been our pleasure to serve you.”

Sam quickly found that he had to buy lower quality hot dogs and also raise his prices to meet the cost of the additional interest fees and to meet the tighter payment schedule. With the reduced line of credit he couldn’t buy as many hot dogs and sometimes he would run out and disappoint some customers.

Soon his customers noticed the hot dogs didn’t taste as good as well as costing more. Also, they would stop to buy less often because they couldn’t be sure he hadn’t run out. Business got worse but Sam still paid the bank on time and in full every month.

Then he got another notice from First Ebenezer Screwge Financial Services:

“We value the way you have always paid your account with us on time and in full. However a review of your credit history shows you have made one or more late payments to other creditors within the past 6 months. Therefore we must make some modifications in your credit line, interest rate and terms to protect our interests.

Your business line of credit has been reduced. The interest you will pay has been increased. Penalties for late payment have been increased. Your payment must be received and posted within 20 days of the invoice date instead of 25 days as formerly.

It has always been our pleasure to serve you.”

As a result, Sam bought the cheapest hot dogs he could find, buy only as many as he was absolutely certain he could sell, and his business dropped off even more. Soon, he had no choice but to lay off one employee.

Shortly after that Sam received a notice from the State that his unemployment insurance premiums were being increased because of the layoff.

Reasoning correctly that he wouldn’t have to pay unemployment insurance if he had no employees, Sam laid off the other one. This left Sam doing all the work himself but there was less of it to do.

The death knell came for Sam’s Deluxe Hot Dogs shortly after he received a notice from the attorneys for First Ebenezer Screwge Financial Services. It read in part:

“It has come to the attention of Friskem, Fleecem, Friggem, and Howe, attorneys for First Ebenezer Bank, that Sam, DBA Sam’s Deluxe Hot Dogs, is committing trespass on the property of First Ebenezer Screwge Financial Services by maintaining a hot dog sign on a building that is now their property. Be it known that the Friendly Business Neighbor Corporation, on whose premises the sign exists, is in default and said building has been seized by First Ebenezer Screwge Financial Services to be sold at auction.

Subject sign must be removed within the hour or else Sam, Sam’s Deluxe Hot Dogs, Sam’s estate, beneficiaries, heirs, associates, relatives, friends, bowling league, and anyone who knows Sam on sight will suffer dire legal consequences, including but not limited to castration.

In case we left anyone off the list who might have responsibility or money, add: et al.

Your immediate compliance is hereby demanded. Have a nice day.”

Without advertising, a good product, and capital Sam was forced to quit and go on public welfare, which paid him only slightly less than Sam took home after contributing to the economy by buying goods and advertising, employing people, paying taxes, and working 14 hours a day.

Postscript: On his way to sign up for welfare and food stamps Sam was nearly run down by a big black Cadillac limo. As it turned the corner the rear window opened enough that Sam could see that the occupant was I. B. Skroom, the president of First Ebenezer Screwge Financial Services. Mr. Skroom jettisoned a copy of a financial newspaper, and a cigar butt, into the gutter.

The headlines caught Sam’s attention: “Banks receive $500 billion from taxpayers to make loans; celebrate with expensive parties, exec bonuses.”

Sam wondered if some of that money might have helped his business. At the welfare office Sam stepped into line behind his 2 former employees.

Posted by at
Labels:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

"Notes and Quotes" Archive

  • **“Nothing can destroy a government more quickly than its failure to observe its own laws, or worse, its disregard of the charter of its own existence.” – Justice Tom C. Clark (1899-1977) US Attorney General, 1945-1949
  • **"If the Constitution no longer matters, then the federal government no longer exists. The same document that restricts the federal government is also the document that created them and gives them their authority. Either it is in effect, or it is not." Gary Henderson
  • **"The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in the time of moral crisis, maintain their neutrality." Dante
  • **“When anyone gets something for nothing, someone else gets nothing for something.” -Anonymous
  • ** "My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane" Author unknown
  • ** “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” — Peter F. Drucker
  • ** “If getting employer benefits without paying union dues is BAD, why is getting government benefits without paying taxes GOOD?”
  • ** “It's not that ‘the rich’ aren't paying their ‘fair share,’ it's that America isn't. A majority of the electorate has voted itself a size of government it's not willing to pay for.” - Mark Steyn
  • ** "One of the penalties of not participating in politics is that you will be governed by your inferiors." ~ Plato
  • **"Fathom the hypocrisy of a Government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured...but not everyone must prove they are a citizen."
  • **If it matters, measure it: How do you know how much you’ve slipped or improved in an area unless you measure it? How do you take something “to the next level” if you don’t know what level you’re already at? How do you set concrete goals without a sense of where you are and where you want to go? If the success of your venture depends on it, you need to find a way to measure it.
  • **The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. - Mark Twain
  • **Political correctness is an approved form of censorship.  Based on emotional appeals at the expense of reason, political correctness mandates that inconvenient truths or facts be swept under the carpet.  Or else. Free speech, guaranteed to all Americans under the First Amendment, is on its way to becoming moot.  The political, media, and intellectual elites who control the terms of national debate and the rules of civil society have succeeded in censoring opposing views, limiting debate, and demonizing dissent.  Perception is on its way to becoming our new reality. Nancy Morgan
  • **Ronald Reagan once defined an economist as somebody who sees something working in real life and wondering if it will work in theory.
  • **"Fathom the odd hypocrisy that Obama wants every citizen to prove they are insured, but they don't have to prove they are citizens." ~ Ben Stein
  • **“America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.”--Dinesh D'Souza
  • **No politician has any business talking about tax increases until ObamaCare is repealed. It’s the most comprehensively failed legislation of the modern era. Like a taxi that runs on plutonium, it’s costing us a fortune, and making us sick, even while it’s sitting there and doing nothing. Sold with fanciful promises and fraudulent cost estimates, it’s another expensive scheme to buy votes with taxpayer money, ending with a planned crisis the government will be only too happy to step in and “solve” by seizing even more of our wealth and liberty. Its passage stymied serious attempts at real improvements to our health-care system, including tort reform and allowing the interstate sale of insurance plans to increase competition. As with so many other delusional Big Government programs, the opportunity cost of passing ObamaCare, and passing up on reasonable plans that enhance individual liberty, rivals its staggering price tag. We’ll come trillions closer to a balanced budget by shredding it. -- Dr. Zero
  • **'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel' -- Benjamin Netanyahu
  • ** This is almost unbelievable. Barack Obama is more concerned about Jews building homes in Jerusalem than about Iran building a nuclear weapon. --Ben Stein
  • ** I hope we have once again reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There's a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: as government expands, liberty contracts. --Ronald Reagan
  • ** "As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, but that America gave him the White House based on the same credentials." - - Newt Gingrich
  • ** An ideal Federal government in our country wouldn't take much from you, do much for you, or get in your way . --John Hawkins
  • ** The banking crisis wasn't caused by a lack of regulation. It was caused by regulation that pushed banks to make bad loans. --John Hawkins
  • ** An ideal Federal government in our country wouldn't take much from you, do much for you, or get in your way . --John Hawkins
  • **Not too long ago, two friends of mine were talking to a Cuban refugee, a businessman who had escaped from Castro, and in the midst of his story one of my friends turned to the other and said, "We don't know how lucky we are." And the Cuban stopped and said, "How lucky you are? I had someplace to escape to." And in that sentence he told us the entire story. If we lose freedom here, there's no place to escape to. This is the last stand on earth.--Ronald Reagan
  • ** A final word on Tea Party numbers.  The Obama Inauguration left in its wake 100 tons of trash on the Mall that required herculean efforts by the District and the Park Service to clean up.  And it devastated the grass surfaces of the Mall that necessitated budgeting millions of dollars to repair.  Saturday’s Teapartyers left behind a west lawn and Mall that could be used for the U.S.Open.   The sparse trash that was left was neatly stashed in and closely around the too few receptacles provided.  And police reported zero arrests.-- William Campenni
  • ** There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress. --Mark Twain
  • ** What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. --Edward Langley
  • ** To be born a U.S. citizen is, as Cecil Rhodes once said of England, to win first prize in the lottery of life.
  • **"Free speech does not include the right to deceive". --Author unknown
  • ** Although racism certainly exists in this country, it has become blessedly rare and marginalized. Some of the best evidence you can find for that is Barack Obama's election as President. Only in a country as colorblind as America could a black man easily win the Presidency when 75% of the votes were cast by white Americans. --John Hawkins
  • **I think we need a Constitutional Amendment that says: 1.  Congressional salaries are tied to increased jobs, per capita income and increased GDP. 2.  Any raise for any member must be approved by a super majority in his/her home district or state. --Tom Hall
  • **There is a certain irony in an administration denouncing ordinary Americans who get together to express what they believe and to confront authority, when that administration is led by a man who began his career as a community organizer, whose job, as I understand it, is to take ordinary Americans, get them together to express what they believe, and express demands against the authorities. So it's unbelievably hypocritical. And, of course, as we just heard, this only happens when you have a conservative protest. It is called a mob. If it's a liberal protest, it is called grassroots expressing themselves. -- Charles Krauthammer
  • **Government does not solve problems... it subsidizes them! --Ronald Reagan
  • **When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President -- I'm beginning to believe it.’ - Clarence Darrow
  • **The liberals will give free medical care to illegal aliens who are on welfare but will deny it to American citizens who have worked all their lives and made their contributions to American society.-- Charles Hakes
  • ** Medicare is a huge, single-payer, government-run program. It ought to provide the perfect environment for experimentation. If more-efficient government management can slash health-care costs by addressing all these problems, why not start with Medicare? Let's see what "better management" looks like applied to Medicare before we roll it out to the rest of the country. -- Virginia Postrel
  • ** You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think. -- Milton Berle
  • **We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are. --The Talmud
  • **You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think. -- Milton Berle
  • **We're getting too much lip service and not enough action from the Obama administration on nuclear power, and the impression is being left that we can run this big, complex country on electricity from the wind, the sun and the earth. ...Climate change may be the inconvenient problem, but nuclear power is the inconvenient answer. -- Lamar Alexander
  • **The government may very well come up with a health insurance product that is cheaper (to the consumer) and more effective than those offered in the private sector. Think about this though ... Could that possibly be because the government will be under no pressure whatsoever to make a profit on its health insurance? When you can operate at a loss indefinitely you have no problem undercutting your competitors. When you can call on endless government subsidies you can run anyone you chose out of business. -- Neal Boortz
  • **I'd like to quote from an e-mail I recently received from a reader named J. Pyle. In response to a piece I had written ridiculing the state of higher education, he wrote: "I remember when 'Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Studies' meant trying to figure out what's wrong with those people. In fact, if your child is majoring in something that ends in 'Studies,' you better not turn their bedroom into a den, because that one is coming home after college." --Bert Prelutsky
  • **People are gushing over the late Michael Jackson. I suppose they will honor him on a postage stamp, in a new “Famous Child Molesters” series, to go with Elvis from the “Famous Drug Abusers” stamp series. Meanwhile, men and women dying to protect an America pass with little but perfunctory notice. One wonders, in the black hours of the night, if this nation deserves protecting. -- Robert Hall
  • **I sincerely hope that when the president goes in for his annual check-up, the doctors at Bethesda will do a brain scan. Surely something must be terribly wrong with a man who seems to be far more concerned with a Jew building a house in Israel than with Muslims building a nuclear bomb in Iran. --Bert Prelutsky
  • **"Even if the majority agrees on an idiotic idea, it is still an idiotic idea." Sam Levenson
  • **The most hilarious thing about the Democrats' attempt to engulf the health care industry in the inky blackness of the federal government is their primary selling point: that a government takeover will actually lead to reduced costs. How's that plan working out with Medicare so far? Oh yeah, it's on track to bankrupt the entire country. So let's expand that -- what could go wrong? Well, besides all the features that usually come along with socialized medicine: reduced quality of care, long wait times for operations, and allowing old people to die in order to cut costs. Obamacare would lead to health care with the compassion of the IRS, the competence of FEMA, and the well staffed work force of our border patrol at a much higher cost, but on the upside, you won't live as long, so you'll have less time to complain about it. -- John Hawkins
  • **President Obama wants greater transparency from businesses, banks, the government — everyone except the union movement. This clearly benefits the union leaders, who will become less accountable to their members. But it’s hardly the change Obama promised to bring to Washington. — James Sherk
  • **Being politically correct is, unfortunately, not the same thing as being correct politically.-- Bert Prelutsky
  • **If increased government spending with borrowed or newly created money is a "stimulus," then the Weimar Republic should have been stimulated to unprecedented prosperity, instead of runaway inflation and widespread economic desperation that ultimately brought Adolf Hitler to power. -- Thomas Sowell
  • **“The big mistake of Republican leadership is thinking that going through the motions of listening to their ‘base’ is the same thing as actually listening to the base. They keep trying to drag us to where they think we should be instead of joining us where we are.” -- John Hawkins
  • ** Torturing prisoners should never be our policy, both because it's immoral and because it's usually ineffective. But it's madness to declare that there can never be exceptions. Forget the argument about the "ticking bomb" and the terrorist who might have information that could save numerous lives. Let's make it personal. Whether you're left, right or in between, ask yourself this yes-or-no question: If torturing a known terrorist would save the life of the person you love most in the world, would you approve it? If your answer is "no," you're not a moral paragon. You're an abomination. And please make your position clear to your husband or wife, mother or father, son or daughter. Just tell 'em, "Sorry, honey, but I'd rather see you dead than mistreat a terrorist. It's a moral issue with me. --Ralph Peters
  • **The man who loves other countries as much as his own stands on a level with the man who loves other women as much as he loves his own wife. -- Teddy Roosevelt
  • **The prudent capitalist will never adventure his capital... if there exists a state of uncertainty as to whether the Government will repeal tomorrow what it has enacted today. -- William Henry Harrison
  • **The price of a postage stamp has gone up to 44 cents. The government says they had to raise the price because fewer people are using the mail these days. That's government thinking for you — "Hey nobody's buying our products . . . let's raise the price!" --Jay Leno
  • **If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. -- Milton Friedman
  • **Since torture doesn’t work but waterboarding did work on KSM, doesn’t that prove that waterboarding isn’t torture?
  • **"The world is controlled by those who show up." --George Allen
  • **John Maynard Keynes, responded to a challenge about his changing views, saying, “When the facts change, I change my opinion. What do you do, sir?”